I miss him

It has been almost a year since the transplant. None of it was easy. My husband suffered for months afterward. We are stuck with piles of medical bills we can't pay. The hospital doesn't return our messages, so we don't why we're stuck with the bills, and can't find out what tests he may need in the future. We have basically been hung out to dry. You would think I would resent "Fred" for all of this. He is off cavorting in Florida and having a grand time, getting ready for 6 weeks in Egypt, while we struggle to afford gas money and watch our credit rating plummet as each new medical bill gets turned in for collection. The truth of the matter is that I miss him terribly. I would give just about anything to see him and his wife again. It is almost as if there is just a void there now, and they are all that can fill it. I don't know if other donors and their families feel this was about their recipients, but I find it rather strange that I feel this way. Any donors out there experience similar feelings?